Bachelor Pad Recap. Bottom Line: I'm Obsessed.

You KNOW I had to take a break from all things baby, to watch last night's premiere of the Bachelor Pad (my absolute favorite guilty pleasure from last summer.)

Here are my thoughts...

Jake and Vienna (aka Sausage) are soooooooooooooooooooooooo boring. I love that they call each other "fame whores" and they both find that to be incredibly insulting. Hello! You are BOTH fame whores. Own it. Love it. Live it.

More on Jake.

  1. He's a total douche. 
  2. Who wants to date this guy? 
  3. Gross.
  4. Double gross.
More on Sausage. 
  1. I think she looked way better PRE nose job. Talk about a waste of surgery. She should have spent that money on some meds/ or a new personality. 
  2. Her hair cut/color is just plain wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I think it might be a wig. God, I hope so.
  3. Why do all these guys want to date/ sleep with her? Is her vagina made of gold? I don't get it. 
  4. Talk about fake tears. Whhhhhaaaaaaaa. 
  5. Her bf is a wimp. He gives me the creeps. They are made for each other for these two reasons alone, 
Which brings me to Gia. Gia is hot. Crazy but hot. How is it that she has been dumped not once, but TWICE for Vienna Sausage? Just goes to show guys don't do crazy. Or I guess they do crazy for a while and then dump crazy for more crazy. I have never been happier to be married. 

Speaking of crazy... I love me some Michelle Money. She is so looney tunes, and makes for great TV. I can't wait for her one liners. It also makes me feel better that she is so insane, because that girl is WAY to pretty. The hair/ eyebrow combo is perfection. 

Tiara girl? I swear I saw this chick on Dr. Phil while I was in the hospital. There really are no words. 

The engaged/ broken up couple/ who then dated/ and are now broken up (I have no idea who these people are) might make for a good story line so long as that dude sacks up and stops crying. Awkward.

What's with the guy with the arm tattoo? I didn't watch Ali's season so I don't know the back story, but that tattoo sucks. I have it on good authority (aka from Us Weekly) that he is the playboy in the house. Really? It would take a serious man drought for me to drink from that well. 

Biggest tool? That honor goes to the Wrestler. Did he really say "rated R for reality star?"  

Love Ames. Love Jackie. Hope they get married and have genius, hipster, New York babies. Total cuteness. 

That's all I have for now...

Please feel free to discuss.

P.S. I love me some Chris Harrison.  Such a cutie patootie