101 Things I Have Learned From The Little Man.

# 97 Kids. They don't walk, they ONLY run. 

We, like most new parents, just couldn't wait for our little blob of a baby to began to morph into a little man. We would squeal with delight at every milestone, and we would do crazy things like encouraging our little guy to talk and walk. Those of you out there without kids probably think that this is very normal. Those of you with kids are thinking the exact same thing that I am; rookie mistake. 

At the time we bought a "mail cart" so he could learn to balance on his feet. We would put treats just out of his reach, encouraging him to take just a few steps on his own. The Pièce de résistance was when we would hold out the clicker or my blackberry and he would give it all his might just to get his grubby little paws on one of them. We would get so excited that we would even (gasp) photograph these occasions. Here is the little guy taking a few of his first steps. 

Why is walking a problem you ask? Because kids don't walk, they only run. And while they may seem little, it is amazing how fast some of these buggers can be. As in, oh my god my child is tearing through the store and I just can't quite catch him....shit, now he is running out the front door.....please someone else stop him.........nooooooo now he is sitting in the water bowl for the dogs out front.....yuck that cannot be sanitary.  True story, one of many. See the problem is once they realize they can walk that's all they want to do. Once they realize how fast and nimble they are? Well, that is the exact moment that I lost all the power in this relationship. 

Finally the other night I figured out how to get it back. It hit me as I was watching the dogs running in the dog park. When they would arrive they were jumping and running all over the place. Their owner would throw the ball a few times and after about 10 minutes they would be so exhausted that they would lay down. Hmmmmm I thought to myself, that may just work for my wild little animal. 

You thought I was joking, right? 

Nope, the little guy and I now have a new game. It's called "catch."  It should be called, "you just woke up from a  3 hour nap and we need to go grocery shopping so I'm going to take you to a wide open field and throw a tennis ball repeatedly until your little legs slow down to a pace that I, your mother, can actually keep up with or until you pass out, whichever comes first." Or something like that. Okay it's actually kind of fun to watch him chase the ball, and the truth is that I end up chasing the it as much as he does, but this is definitely the way to burn some of that energy. I swear, if I could find a way to bottle it I could make millions. 

Well, I have learned my lesson. The next baby? Yeah, he/she can take her sweet little time in the walking department. That or I'm going to have to consider a leash. Okay...that may be taking the dog thing a bit too far, but man one would sure come in handy!