I always knew that the Husband and I had very different discipline styles. He, being the more laid back one was clearly going to be the "good cop." Me, the more high strung one (to put it nicely) prefers things to be a bit more orderly, calm, scheduled, which in turn means I was destined to be the "bad cop" when it comes to parenting our son. Now that the little man is in the throws of his terrible twos these different styles have become much, much, much more apparent. Much more. If the Husband is the "good cop" than that means by default I have to be the "bad cop" and the truth is I don't always want to be the bad cop. In fact, I don't ever want to be the bad one, but sadly, I don't see anyway around it.
I have recently realized that since I am the one who is with the little guy all day long, then I alone have to be the enforcer of the rules the majority of the time. As in all the rules. Those of you with kids know that if you let one thing slip just once, or let one rule be bent/ broken, then there is an extremely high likelihood that it will bent/broken FOREVER. It really doesn't matter how many times you say "no," it's the one time you say "yes" that he is going to remember (don't you just hate that?) At least that's the way things go in our house. This means that all day long I am the one who has to administer time outs, scold, take away privileges, and generally be the bad guy. Oh, how I hate this role. The Husband on the other hand gets to be the one who swoops in at 6pm to save the little man from his evil (self inflicted title) mommy. They then get to play, run around, and the little man can tell him about all the "mean" things I did to him during the day. Of course there is no need for discipline to be involved because in that hour that they are playing the little guy is always on his best behavior.
On the weekends things change slightly. By slightly I mean when the little guy starts acting up the Husband will inform me of this fact and then I am the one who again has to step up and be the hard ass. What really gets me is that when his Daddy does scold him or in some way punish him, the little man totally listens and does exactly what he is being told to do. Not fair I say.
I've also noticed that my "boys" have begun to team up on me. I'll see out of the corner of my eye the little man doing something he is not supposed to (like hitting for example) and the Husband will begin some kind of serious coverup (assuming no one else is involved/injured) letting the little man get away with his crime scot-free. They then have like a secret smile and a handshake and bond over the fact that they pulled one over on Mom. Where's my handshake? Where is my "team." See this is why I need a daughter too.
I suppose in every relationship someone has to be the bad guy. The alternative would be the old, "wait until your father gets home," but the last thing I would want is for the little man to dread his dad coming home given that this is his favorite part of the day. Maybe the dynamic will change, and I can assure you if we do have a daughter it will likely be the Husband who is the bad guy, especially during those trying teenage years. So I guess for now I will have to except my role as judge, jury, jail keeper, and bail bondsman but one of these days I may just have to let the little guy out early for good behavior. Of course, this will only be when it was his daddy is the one who locked him up in the first place.