I'll Take Two Please.

The first picture of SJP and her new baby twins was released today and I have two things to say.
  1. This photo melts my heart and completely gives me hope.
  2. Where can I get mine?

I remember hearing a while back, from a friend who heard from a friend, that so and so spotted SJP at a fertility clinic in Manhattan. While I never really thought about it, I also wasn't that surprised. Her son was about 4 or 5 and given her age and the fact that she hadn't yet had another baby and would openly talk about wanting one, it completely made sense. I think I had just had the little man, or was possibly pregnant at the time and infertility was the farthest thing from my mind. Yeah, well times sure have changed, and given my current situation and my own trips to the fertility center I am so thrilled to see that even if I never get pregnant myself (let's hope that's not the case) I could still have two wonderful little babies just like Miss Carrie Bradshaw (yes, I know she isn't really Carrie Bradshaw, but in my mind she will always be.)  

It's funny, in all this time I have never even considered nor even thought of surrogacy as an option. I know we are a long, long way from this type of decision but up until now I have somehow convinced myself that if I can't get pregnant, than that's it, no babies for us. I think this is what has had me so consumed and down for the past few months.  Of course I know adoption is always an option, and we have thought seriously about it for baby number three, but I don't know why, perhaps because I don't have a natural sibling, I just really want the LM to have a 100 percent flesh and blood mate. I know none of that matters, as my half sister and I are closer than she and her full sisters, but still I just really want just one more. To be honest after seeing this picture, I want two. If I were to get pregnant again, and for some reason not be able to carry that baby to full term, I would absolutely consider surrogacy. Seriously, just look at those perfect babies. Who knows, perhaps I should give another look at adoption as well, if it were to ever come to that. The point is I just need to keep reminding myself that we are lucky enough to have options. Maybe some of you could remind me of that too, just if I seem to be heading off the deep end?

Another of my irrational concerns has been a "timeline" that I seem to have in my head. I get panicked when I think that the LM is going to be almost 3 if/when I were to have another baby. And that would be only if I were to get knocked up in the next three months. I keep thinking that they won't be "close" if I don't have them less than two years apart. I have no idea why I am so concerned about this. My sister and I are 10 years apart and I don't think two siblings have ever been closer than we are. Yet still, I find myself adding up months trying to figure out if they will be in High School, or College together. Crazy right? I look at this picture and I think, "what am I so damn worried about?" That little boy really had the best of both worlds. He got to be the only one for about 6 years and now he has two amazing little sisters that he can be a great big brother to. Even more, he likely understood what was happening versus a 2 year old and will probably be better able to adapt to having two new babies in the house. Seems like a win, win all around. Again, what the hell have I been thinking? 

While all of this may seem completely obvious to most of you out there, those of you who are struggling with infertility can likely relate. It really does make you go a little out of your mind. Throw in some fertility hormones and you have the perfect storm for a little bit of crazy. Seeing this happy family, celebrities or not, really makes me see things much clearer. From now on when I am about to have one of my "no baby meltdowns" as I call them, I am going to look at this picture and remind myself to CHILL OUT. I realize that this is what everyone has been saying all along, but like most important lessons you sometimes just have to figure them out on your own. Note to self. Relax. 

Congrats to the Broderick/ Parker family. As was said on my favorite Sex and the City episode, "Your girl is lovely, Hubbell." (as quoted from The Way We Were)  In this case, both your girls are lovely.