The other night the Husband and I went up to the neighbors for a few drinks after the little man went to bed. Somewhere around beer number 3 I mistakenly mentioned that lately I have been aching for three kids. Yes, three kids. I don't know why but I just can't stop thinking that we HAVE to have that third baby. What I got was the same reaction that I have been getting every time I drop this little nugget of information; a reaction of shear and utter terror.
OK, OK I realize we don't even have two kids yet, and blah blah I will probably change my mind, and yes three kids are a serious lifestyle change, and the expense considering private school and college is astronomical, yada yada yada. These are all of the arguments that the Husband always counters with whenever I mention that presumptive "third" baby. The thing is I expect this sort of reaction from him given our former two kids policy, what I have not expected is the reaction that you get from others when I mention wanting a full(er) house.
What reaction you ask? It's first "gasp," then comes "what about the little man don't you care about him?" Followed by "well you would HAVE to move to the suburbs so say goodbye to city life, " and then lastly "oh don't worry you will change your mind once you have two anyway." It really feels like the same reaction that I would imagine I would get if I were saying that we were trying to have octuplets when we already had 6 kids (don't even get me started on that madness.)
Yes, some of these things may be correct. But come on, I'm talking only talking about 3 kids here. I am a full time stay at home mom. I am 29 years old, and we have the financial means to comfortably have and raise two more babies. OK, so we may be a little tight in our three bedroom condo, and yes there would be slightly less attention for each baby, and sure eventually we may have to move one mile over to Brookline a neighboring town which has a kick ass public school, but for me those negatives would be outweighed by the fact that we would have one more amazing little person in our lives. For me the trade off would be well worth it (again recognizing that having two may send me to the nut house and I will look back at this post and think like some of you that I was clearly putting the cart before the horse.)
The reason that I mention all this is one, because it's my blog, and two because the New York Times just ran this article discussing this very issue. They focus on people who want more than three kids (not for me, but who am I to judge) but the reaction from people seems to be the same. I sometimes wonder if the whole aversion from the three kids possibly lies with the company that we keep. We are city dwellers and most of are friends are the same. I wonder if we lived in the suburbs or the country if this would even be an issue. Maybe there you are considered a circus freak if you happen to mention that you want five or six kids. Who knows?
In the end I'm sure we will have as many kids as suits our lifestyle and that is more likely to be two than it is to be more. I just can't help thinking that at some point I'm going to miss that little baby smell and wish that we would have thrown caution to the wind and gone for the full house. Hopefully if that does happen we will still have friends who are willing to be seen with us in public. Ah, well if not maybe the Jolie-Pitts will have us over for dinner.