I am so naive. I am one of those people who thought that the hardest part of getting the highly coveted Hermes Birkin, was convincing your husband that said Birkin is a "great investment." Boy was I wrong.
First a little background. I love bags. I love clothes. I completely dislike diamonds and fine jewelry in general. This goes for all diamonds. There is no engagement ring here. No diamond studded earings. No silver, no gold, etc. What I do have is bags, shoes, and a pretty kick ass wardrobe if you ask me. I have convinced my husband that I am actually saving him money.
In 309 days I will be entering my third decade of life, and given that I have produced one perfect child, my husband has grudgingly agreed to get me my life's dream. A beautiful camel Birkin (with gold hardware, of course.)
Flash forward 65 days.....Getting a Birkin is impossible. I mean really impossible. I thought all I had to do was call up Hermes a year in advance. Give over my credit card number and wait. Not quite. I was told by the woman at Hermes (in her snotty french accent,) " we don't discuss Birkins or Kellys over the telephone." What, like this is a matter of national security???? I guess I should have seen it coming. These are the people who denied Oprah entry into their store.
So what now??? I have heard from friends that you basically have to slip the girl at Hermes 500 dollars and a bag will magically appear. My husband is a man of principal so this is out. I have also heard that a stylist can get you a bag, so I have lured one of the fabulous girls from Intermix into my web. I have also read that you just have to buy a lot of crap from there and then you will be offered the illusive bag. Again, my husband is a man of principle so this will never happen. Also, I'm thinking they don't have a very friendly return policy.
Long story long, today I received the call I've been waiting for. One of my fellow yummy mummies, A.D. has relocated to the 90210. She knows someone, who knows someone, who buys his wife a Birkin for every occasion (yes, I too am in love with this man). As fate would have it she is going to this perfect man's house for dinner next week, and will beg, borrow, and steal his contact's number on my behalf.
I have chills. This is it, I can feel it. Only 309 days, 11 hours, and 37 minutes, and 15 seconds.....14 seconds, 13..............A.D. may the force be with you. The fate of the Birkin rests solely in you manicured hands.